On the Horns of a Late-Nite Moneychanger Dilemna

This past semester at school I watched a pathetic amount of television before going to bed. Not just Aqua Teen Hunger Force episodes and Girls Gone Wild infomercials either; for there is something on the Comcast cablewaves much more sinister: Rev. Peter Popoff.

Popoff is one of the many televangelists out there preaching a prosperity gospel, and seeing him "heal" individuals and extract money from poor folk made me uneasy. I regretted this sentiment and decided to give him a fair shake. So when the toll-free number came on the screen, I figured I'd give it a try (I can risk getting on some irritating mailing list, since I'll be moving out in a semester) and see if he asked for money. "When does he ask for a credit card number", I wondered cynically, but all the automated recording wanted was my address and prayer requests. After a moments thought, I submitted it.

Within a few weeks, I received my first packet, a hefty missive full of misconstrued bible passages, fake handwritten sections and a promise that I was being prayed for "continuously". Also enclosed was a container of Holy Land Anointed Oil and a request for a check, that once written, would blossom into blessings($) for me.

I didn't respond to the first letter, but that didn't stop ol' Popoff. I have received two letters since, and there is probably one waiting for me in Georgia when I get back. New gifts arrive in each envelope, like a “Barak” wallet or a plastic hand cut-out. I'm not going to describe here the proposed way to use these things, that's a special little surprise I'm saving for all the readers here who want to participate. Call 1-800-208-1201 and experience the magic for yourself.

If you're wondering about Prophet Peter Popoff, I did a little research on the net about the guy. At one of his services in the '80s, he was recalling personal information about attendees that seemed impossible to know, given they were strangers. He was later exposed when it was discovered that people who had interviewed the attendees were feeding him the info via a well-hidden ear piece. Shortly thereafter, after this was reported by news sources, he was bankrupt. Apparently this was a temporary setback, as now he is back on my television and preachier than ever. Information about his non-profit organization's earnings are not available on the Better Business Bureau's website, withheld for unspecified reasons. In addition, he owns a 90,000 dollar Porsche. I guess those prayers work.

What I'm asking from you folks is this: Help me take down Popoff for good.

I don't mean cutting his Porsche's brake lines or something, I mean making sure he ends up working in a car wash the rest of his life, or has a Saul/Paul-like conversion and gives up his church building for a homeless shelter, etc. Does anybody have any additional information on this guy or have any suggestions? What do you think?